fun prank idea: go to starbucks and tell the cashier your name is “Dad.” then when the barista starts calling “Dad??” “DAD?” “DAD” you can hide behind the crowd of people and watch as he begins to cry. why did his father leave him
I wanna see a really cool Disney princess who can’t sing. I wanna see this pretty young girl who sounds like a beached whale when she tries to sing “Happy Birthday.” And none of the musical numbers feature her because she doesn’t sing.
But halfway through the movie, she figures out
She can rap like hell
This post kept getting better and better with every word
NOBODY TOLD ME SNAILS EAT WORMS I THOUGHT THEY FED ON SUNSHINE AND DEWDROPS
then you should probably know that the reason they’re so gooey on their tops and not just their bottoms is so that if ants and the like try to eat them they with get stuck and either suffocate or starve whilst attached to the snail
oh i thought that was just maximum lubrication for prime slime trail creation
my friend has a girlfriend we don’t approve of because he told us she’s manipulative and abusive. So naturally we told him he probably shouldn’t still be with her since we care about his well-being. We don’t hate her, we just think they aren’t good together. But here they are, still together. He’s now mad at us for advising him to get the fuck out of it, and she thinks we hate her.
Anyways, one night while they were hanging with our other friends, my friend’s girlfriend, without any provoking of any kind, just started talking shit about me, and said I don’t have any “southern hospitality”. I find this strange seeing how we’ve only met twice and I’m not even remotely from the South, let alone the continental U.S. This actually came from a girl who posted a picture of herself the other day in an Iron Man shirt with “#whitegirlprobs” and ends every sentence with “holla”.
She’s rude and naive, and nothing pisses me off more than someone who wants to talk shit about me by not saying anything that’s factual. You can talk shit about me. Call me a bitch behind my back, I don’t care, because you’re right. But when you want to say I’m not something I’m not, to my friends in order for them to agree with you, don’t be surprised when my friend (a woman who is the sweetest human being in the world) shuts you the fuck down.